Okay, I FINALLY remembered to ask Kevin how to add posts to the blog WHILE HE WAS HERE! I always seem to think about it when he is out of town. Which is when I’m usually looking for something to do in the evenings. But tonight he is here, I am here, and I remembered. YAY! See, he changed the format or the something-or-other and I no longer knew how to post! So I’m glad to be back because I feel like I have LOTS to share, for better or worse!
Tonight I want to talk about my most recent Facebook status update, which basically said something like “we all need to remember that our actions do not only affect ourselves.” I am usually not into the ambiguous status updates that send my Facebook friends into a tizzy, wondering what in the heck is going on with me…but that particular update was due to the very heavy heart that I had that evening. And I wasn’t at liberty to divulge exactly what I was referring to. Let me break it down for you now…
Those who know me well know that my husband and my children are at the very top of my list of priorities…second only to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ who gives me the strength to deal with said husband and children! So when someone messes with them or their feelings, they are messing with me. Unfortunately, someone very dear to them (us) has (seemingly) unknowingly hurt them, and I am doing my very best to pick u
p the pieces and help them deal. This is where my Lord and Savior comes in, because I could do nothing for them without His guidance. And again, unfortunately, my human nature often times gets the better of me and prevents me from keeping my emotions in check in regards to this situation. So I guess you could say I used that status update as my forum for venting! Whoops. I’ve always said Facebook is fun for me because I don’t take it too seriously and I just try to be upbeat and casual with it. Fail #1.
Fail #2? Well, I like to think I haven’t made it yet, in this particular situation, that is! I sat my two older kids down today for a heart-to-heart. I was honest. I was transparent. I was emotional (and so were they!). But I was NOT derogatory. I was NOT mean-spirited. I was NOT persuasive. And I was NOT sweet. I let my eight-year-old and my (almost) seven-year-old express their feelings, concerns and emotions. I learned a LOT about how they are feeling and what they are and have been thinking. I let them “get it all out” … and boy, did they ever! There were tears, there were even fists hitting the couch cushions. It wasn’t dramatic, it was just real. My kids impressed me with their level of understanding as well as their level of vulnerability. They were just confused kids who expected more from a person they love.
This made me think. What do my kids expect from me? What does my husband expect from me? What do my family and friends expect from me? And the one thing I kept going back to was…R-E-S-P-E-C-T. That’s essentially what we ALL except from our parents, spouses, family and friends. We just want to be CONSIDERED.
So getting back to my point…
I’m sure I learned as much today from my children as they learned from me. We talked about choices and sin. We talked about forgiveness, forgetfulness – wouldn’t it be nice if we were all afflicted with forgetfulness sometimes? – and we talked about ‘living beyond yourself’.
My husband is amazing. He is handling this situation with such grace. My kids are amazing. They are resilient and brave and so filled with love. Me…? I’m a mess. I don’t deal well. I NEED grace. But I am learning…through their eyes I am learning.